MEDICAL HUMOR. . .
Courtesy of: Steven L. Sacks-Wilner, Esq.
Skillman, NJ 08558-1326
Actual Writings On Hospital Charts:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on
the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.
She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began
seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male,
mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for
most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under
our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However,
he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank,
who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
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